When written responses go wrong
The blogosphere is a place to express opinion, exchange ideas and make new friends. But sometimes, thing don’t always work out that way !
Not everybody out there shares your opinion. Ideas clash, emotions flare, a war of words erupts and things turn quite ugly. I take criticism quite well - but there are times that when I respond to that critism, things go out of hand.
This post may sound like a confession but I’m very explicit about my opinions and where I stand. And I do change my opinion at times and that’s because I think I have a good reason to do so.
One of the touchiest subjects to me is Religion. I may be on the left of centre in politics but religion is a field where I stand on the extreme right. I try my best to practise Islam as close to the Qur’an and as close as to the ways of Prophet Muhammad (in accordance with authentic narrations). Call me orthodox or a fanatic but this is where I stand.
When someone I know, acquires a wrong idea on how to practise Islam (I am only focusing on worship), I wont care who their daddy was and go out of my way to set things right. So you see that I’m quite passionate about my beliefs.
Being extremely passionate about something can bring about one’s aggressive side and this aggressiveness, when taken the wrong way (especially online) has often hurt my reputation.
On Islamic forums for example, sometimes, I do make comments that are very controversial and are thus moderated. Once this happens, I’m treated like a suspect on probation and all my comments whether good or bad are closely watched. But this is only for a short time as everything goes back to normal again.
Sometimes, even G-rated jokes by me are deleted because the moderator, who also happens to be the most loved person in the community, does not always share my humour.
Last week, I commented on a blog against the “Unity with God” which is a belief upheld by some Islamic mystics. Apparently, someone got very emotional and flared back at me saying nobody believed it and that I should get my research right !
Now I knew exactly what I was talking about and the part about “getting my research right” got me cocked-up and I replied back with a fighting tone. Sure enough, things got ugly in my inbox !
I regret every time this happens. It ruins my day to some extent, with my inner voice scolding me, “Jaffer why don’t you just shut-up ! Not everybody understands things like you do !”
How can written content be more damaging ?
When we are online there are many factors that are protecting us. There is a sense of being physically distant from others. We are comfortable, alone and free in our living room so we don’t have worry about getting physically scarred ! In short, when we are online, we take cover behind the computer screen.
My dad taught us a long time ago that insults and criticism do greater damage when written. Words when spoken, have the greatest impact only at that particular moment. There is a reply almost instantly depending on the tone of the voice and speakers come to an agreement more quicker.
Written words are physically there and can be read over and over again. Written words can have practically any emotion and tone and it is entirely up to the reader and not the author, in what sense the message should be taken. There is only one train of thought which can go onto any length of words depending in the author. That goes same for replies and as they are delayed, things take much longer to resolve !
And when more than two people are involved, things can get real ugly unless someone intervenes to cool things down.
So the next time we’re angry and decide put down our thoughts in print, Stop ! Think about what could happen.
Although, one can never be too careful !
Suggested Reading
10 ways to hurt your blog’s brand name by commenting on other blogs - by Darren Rowse
| « ManiaRavings joins the do-follow movement | Anne’s Diary - an ultra secure network for young girls » |
Leave a Reply
Please be considerate and on topic. Your e-mail address will not be published.
Do I need a Blokester invitation??? 
There are no comments yet !
Salaams bro!
Good to see someone standing up for what they believe in…I dont see that everyday you know.
I agree with you completely about the part where you ‘get your research right’ and some moron talks about it as if they are the authority on the subject.
And when it comes to Islam, I firmly believe that not everything is subject to opinions and what people think. There is a right way and a wrong way to do something and if someone has the wrong idea, its up to us to set things right;
And the biggest hurdles to this are the pseudo-secularists who believe that the only way to achieve harmony is to equate all beliefs and change whatever they don’t like about it…
Good luck!
Salaams ARN !
I’ve been looking into the “comment link” problem in IE. I’m left scratching my head for now but I’m working on it !
Thank you for your comment by the way.
Most Muslims are living a cloistered life, thinking that there is nothing wrong with us today. They are even afraid of their actions being proven wrong and when someone does prove them wrong, it is they who get emotional. It’s quite complicated why, but that can be left for another discussion.
The purpose of this entry was to emphasize on being cautious when being controversial online. But since the incident mentioned was fresh I decided to highlight both problems at once.
Jaffer, well said! Something I learned long before I started blogging is when angry, write what you feel like saying, but save it and come back when you’re not so angry to edit and send it. It’s amazing how different the message becomes while still saying what you want to say.
Now, if I could only remember to do that when I get into verbal debates with someone!
Everyone could learn from what you have said here. At one time or another I’m sure everyone has said something online that they regretted after they sent the post. Lee has a very good suggestion. I’ll have to remember that. I like your At the Water Cooler entries. I’ll definitely be back.
Thank you very much for sharing, Joy !
Welcome to the community !
[...] When written responses go wrong - by Jaffer [...]